Hi Alice! Welcome to Wonderland, a land where almost everything is illogical. Here, let me take you on a little tour. There, in the big White House over there lives the Mad Chatter. He's always giving speeches where he blames everyone and everything but himself for his shortcomings. You'll know the Mad Chatter is lying when he's doing one of two things. Stuttering like a fool, or reading words off his magic glass. The Mad Chatter is married to Ms. Lean Cuisine. She eats like a starving horse whilst demanding frugality in the diet of the citizens of Wonderland.
Oh, what is that noise, you ask? Well that is the Misguided Mob. The Misguided Mob is a large group of citizens who chant stupid slogans proclaiming that Mr. Money Bags, a fictional character, is evil. They hate Mr. Money Bags and demand that he share his wealth with them. Hah, no. Don't waste breath explaining to them that if they have all of Mr. Money Bags' money, they won't have any more purpose in life. They're stupid that way.
That creature lying on it's back making demands? Oh, that's a fluke. Flukes like to spend their time being, how shall we say, intimate. Flukes want to be pleasured all day, but without the responsibility or consequences of their actions. They want to have The Gathering make a declaration that promiscuity be subsidized by Wonderlandians.
The Gathering? Yes, well; the Gathering is a large group of adolescents. They actually make the rules of Wonderland. No, of course the Gathering doesn't follow it's own rules. That would be too much like right, and this is Wonderland, after all. The only thing the Gathering is good for is......well, I really can't think of anything. Mostly they argue with each other while half of them cheer the Mad Chatter and the other half jeer him while going along with him anyway.
See that long line of Wonderlandians there? Those are what are called Takers. Takers, well, they take from other Wonderlandians, usually with the help of the Gathering and the blessing of the Mad Chatter. They tend to be a lazy bunch who think that they are somehow special. They live in houses that the Gathering force working Wonderlandians to pay for. Their families are usually broken, headed by a female Wonderlandian who gets money confiscated from working Wonderlandians. They get a number of coins for each child they have, unless they take their children to the Disposition Center.
That big black building over the hill there, that is the Disposition Center. That is where female Wonderlandians go to exercise the womens' right of disposing of little girls. Of course, they do dispose of little boys there too. Yes, illogical, I know. This is Wonderland.
What? Where? Oh, my. A Renegade!! The Renegades are Wonderlandians who have stumbled upon the original law of Wonderland. They each carry a small copy of the law in their pockets.They are well versed in the original intent of Wonderland's founders. Why do they carry guns? Well, my dear, the Founders enshrined that right in the law of Wonderland. It's the reason the Renegades still have the ability to walk freely and speak their minds and give honor to the Great King. The Gathering and the Mad Chatter hate the Renegades. They stand in the way of the total domination of Wonderland. Yes, the Renegades are the last line of defense before Wonderland totally collapses from it's own hubris. Let us hope they can succeed.
Alice, it was wonderful of you to visit. May your journey home be safe and happy. Goodbye, my dear.
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